I’ve noticed lately that I’ve been struggling with contentment in a lot of areas in my life.
I see discontent in myself and that I am not satisfied with who I am and that I often compare my life to others’. This isn’t fair to them or to me. We are all created to be different people. God has made me to be who I am for a purpose. It’s not okay for me to compare or be envious of anyone else because my God made me to be me and because He thought me up and formed me, I have value and worth just as I am. A friend told me the other day that when she has a jealous thought, she prays for that person that God will bless them even more. By doing that she puts herself on their side. We are all on the same side. God made us all different and beautiful. Knowing that The Lord has given me different experiences and different blessings for His own glory and not my own is encouraging. My life was and is intended to bring the Kingdom and therefore it is good.
I can also see discontentment in this season of my life. I moved away to school this past fall and I often find myself comparing my new relationships here with my relationships back home. But this isn’t fair because friends take time. My new relationships are great, they’re just different. I’ve known my high school friends for at least 5 years, if not longer. And I’ve been here not even 4 months. Also, I’ve really been learning the importance and value of community. It’s natural for us as humans to strive to know and be known. And, that takes time and effort. I need to give myself a break and stop with the comparison. These people here are so great and have so much to teach me.
This season of my life is marked by a lot of unknowns. I am not fully certain about my major or what I want to do with my life. I feel a lot of pressure to have these things figured out. I haven’t been content with just trusting The Lord with my future. I have a need to plan and to know. And there are endless opportunities, which is both exciting and terrifying. But God has provided for me my entire life. As I look back, there are countless times that He has seen me through and provided even in my uncertainty. Why should I doubt Him now?
This holiday season I am learning to be content in all areas of my life. I can rest in His love and grace. God is good y’all.
Sufjan Stevens | Justice Delivers Its Death
Oh, I’m getting old
Everyone wishes for youth
How have I wasted my life
trusting the pleasure it gives here on earth?
Shut your eyes and think of somewhere
Somewhere cold and caked in snow
Whitefish Dunes State Park.